As the year ends most people are reflecting on highlights and low points of 2004 and not wanting to be left out of this experience I have decided to look back on some of the funnier racialy ignorant conversations that I have been involved in. I can safely say that in all the instances below no offence was intended and none was taken. Most of the comments were made by people I consider friends…and that is probably why I still find myself laughing.
1. Dances with Lions.
After having embarassed myself by running away from a bee that decided to invade my chill time in a friend’s back yard, someone said to me,
“How can you be scared of a small bee when you live in a country that has lions, rhinos and other wild animals”
I politely informed him that in all the time I have been in Kenya not once has a lion or a rhino or any other form of wild life turned up in our garden, and in the unlikely this event that this were to happen….I would still embarass myself by running away.
2. Afro’s.
Same person as above; this time the conversation turned to my hair and all the hairstyles I have ever had in the past. (Everything but a Jheri-Curl!). I mentioned I used to have an afro before I locked my hair. His response was,
“Afro? Oh my…that is just so Starsky and Hutch”
Now maybe its just me, but I know when I think of Afros, Starsky and Hutch is NOT the first thing that springs to mind.
3. Dancing Gene.
This happened in Belize. I was dancing away to some amazing African/Garifuna drumming when one volunteer remarked that I could Punta well. Another then said,
“Well that’s probably because she has been doing it all her life”
I quickly pointed out that Punta is not a dance that we have in Kenya and before I came to Belize I hade never seen it or heard of it. To which the person then said;
“I know that, but what I meant is that you probably were brought up to dance from a very young age”
Er..then I must clearly have had a deprived childhood because my parents never taught me to dance, play basketball or sing like Whitney!
5a. President of Africa
I was travelling on the bus with a Belizean workmate of a friend and he was really interested in the fact that I come from Africa. Halfway through the conversation he asked me who the President of Africa was. I told him that there was no such thing as a President of Africa. With a look of sheer horror he exclaimed;
“You guys don’t have a President?”
I informed him that Africa was a continent made up of over 50 countries, all with their own leaders and system of government.
5b. President of South Africa.
Following on from the above conversation, the same guy then asked me about Nelson Mandela and I told him he was the former President of South Africa. This was his response;
“Oh…I get it now; so who is the President of East Africa and West Africa and North Africa?”
I really hope Santa got him an atlas for Christmas
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Uarida. says
You are MAD!!!!
I love the dancing gene and the thing about deprived family background/
Kui Says: You know what the say about madness…it is genetic
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Pambi says
A deprived childhood… LOL
Kui Says: I don’t know what you are laughing for…we were raised by the same parents
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Ray says
Hehehe, give the man a break, i just realized i didn’t know anything about Belize, locationwise etc until you went there!
Kui Says: Ray neither did I lakini Belize is a country..Africa is a whole damn continent!
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Kaki says
When I hear such comments from random folk, I am assured once again of my superiority intellectually despite what KCPE and KCSE said
How about people mispronouncing your name and renaming you in the process?! And then I figured it out. Sometimes some people play with your name to try and be condenscending on the sly but notice how quickly they get your name right down to the accent when they want you to show them how the homework is done hmmm LOL!
I used to be nice, back back baaaack in the day and would spend weeks explaining that I did not swim here from Africa, and yes I have all my teeth, no we all do not dance around the fire to the beat of drums beaten by monkeys like in George of the Jungle.
It is best to flow with the ignorance….yeah my dad is the King of Zimunda, yes I have 5 cowives but I have 3 husbands. See how it works. Let them think I am living large!