Having read Mshairi’s post on last night’s TV programme, and having watched the second half of the show I couldn’t help but recount one of the craziest forms of racism that I have faced whilst living in Lancaster.
For those who don’t know Lancaster, here is a brief summary of the town’s unwritten race relations policy.
- Referring to a black person as coloured, irrespective of any objections a black person may raise, is considered inoffensive.
- On the rare occasion that one black person steps into a public place a few white people present may stop and stare at said black person.
- On the even rarer occasion that two or more black people should occupy the same space at the same time then most, if not all white people present may stop and stare at one or all of the black people present.
What follows is a real life example of a white person who decided, without prior warning, to add a whole new section to our race relations policy.
This scene takes place in one of the many chain pubs that has taken over Lancaster. Nothing usual about the setting, it just gives me a good excuse to mention our former local pub. This was the only pub that let you bring your own music and gave you a free drink for acting as DJ. I refuse to get over the fact that it is ‘under new management’.
Getting back to the story, I was in the company of Mich, my two siblings, a cousin and a friend. There was a white lady sat at the table opposite ours, with her back to us. I am going to call her Claire, or as we say in the North, Clurr. Every so often Clurr would glance over her shoulder and look at us. After a few minutes of craning her neck she decided to turn her chair slightly so that she could keep one eye on her crowd and the other on ‘us coloured folk’.
In case I am accused of ‘playing the race card’ (a subject worthy of its own blog entry!) here are my reasons:
- We were sat against a wall – there was nothing behind us. The wall had no distinguishing features other than the bodies of 5 black people and one white guy resting upon it.
- Black people instinctively know what counts as an ‘is it cos I is black?� (Ali G vs The Police [2000]) moment. I don’t know how, we just do
- Clurr’s subsequent actions – what Clurr did next left no doubt in my mind that it was cos we woz black.
I am not sure at what point Clurr decided that staring was no longer good enough all I remember is getting that strange feeling of someone standing over you. I looked up and there was Clurr, leaning over our table, camera-phone in hand, clicking away. She took individual close ups of all the black people at our table. Clurr, clearly a perfectionist, paused between each take to admire her work. Satisfied, she stepped back and took one group photo. Not pleased with the result she snapped one last time before returning to her seat and showing her new pictures to her friends.
Two whole minutes later and eventually someone at our table was able to speak. It was agreed that Clurr had gone one step too far and I eagerly took on the task of setting her straight. I deliberately chose not mention race. I simply reminded her that we had a right to privacy and it would have been polite of her to ask before she took pictures of us. Clurr had obviously memorised the ‘I am not racist; I have black friends’ speech and without prompting, began to recite it. Needless to say I too had my share of speeches memorised but I decided against the “I’m @?%&!-ing tired of your @%!?” speech.
Judging by Clurr’s actions I had concluded that she wasn’t the brightest of people. I opted for the confident-lawyer-talking-crap speech.
I quoted various sections of Acts (both real and imagined) that she had violated. I demanded that she delete the photographs of us and warned that if she repeated her actions, I would not only ensure that she was kicked out of this pub but I would also be pressing criminal charges as well as issuing civil proceedings against her. Clurr had obviously not expected this and neither had her friends. It was their turn to be left speechless.
Later on that night, when one third of the table had gone to dance and the other third had gone to get drinks, Clurr returned to our table, no camera in sight, and as she sat down next to me she said,
“I’m real sorry ’bout earlier. Din’t mean to upset you like. Are guys on tour or something?”
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Ms K says
Mama K,
Right now I am ROTFLMAO!!! I wish I had a more useful comment but that is all I can manage for now.
Ati are you guys on tour?? Ha ha ha
I will prolly be back with something a bit intelligent.
MJ Says: With hindsight it is funny, at the time I was really mad.
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Mich says
Yeah, I remember the incident well and it still brings a smile to my face.
I think she was just impressed by the dancing (because you guys are always so much better at that sort of thing!) and assumed we were a famous act or something.
Center of the music scene Lancaster certainly ‘aint!
MJ Says: Babes, I wonder what she thought your role was (cos you guys are so not good at that sort of thing!)
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Wahu says
Oh Baby that is a classic one are you on tour, what are you part of the Destiny’s Child tour…and Mich the dance troupe man l am still laughing.
MJ Says: If I hadn’t been so mad I would have asked her who she thought we were.
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Margaret in Germany says
This is what I would have done in that situation…if I had a camera phone, each of my friends, one by one, would have taken a picture of her, saying not a word. If I had no phone, I would have stood facing her and started drawing on paper, like I was drawing a picture of her, again, not saying a word.
Your story reminds me of the first time I went snowboarding in Gstaad, Switzerland. The older Swiss men kept staring and following me. When I questioned one, he said ‘You must be someone of importance, because your kind do not come here’. He then proceeded to ask me my nationality (he wanted to touch my hair~NOT!) and about 10 other questions. I really didn’t mind talking to him…I’ll do my part to help end the ignorance!
Sorry for the long comment!
Mama JunkYard Says: No need to apologise LOL @ drawing sketches. We just froze. No-one was able to think fast enough. I agree with you about doing my bit to end the ignorance. I think what really annoyed us about this woman is that she didn’t ask. I will usually answer any dumb/ignorant question, e.g. do I wash my hair?. It is when people treat you as though you are not worthy of being spoken. In those cases I often have little motivation to help them with their ignorance.
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Mshairi says
I remember when two Japanese tourists asked me whether they could photograph me as they liked my hair so much. I love the way both you and Margaret responded. My response was an irritated ‘no’
MJ Says: At least they asked…you should have said yes, but for a fee, a very high fee
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kaki says
LMBAO! @Margaret’s response!
Since I represent Christ I will refrain from what I really want to say.
How dare she? I mean where do you come of taking pics of people like they are wildlife?!!!
I wish Clurr the good fortune of coming to visit the good ol’ US of A and trying that stunt here with African Americans. Let’s just say she will never do that ish again! LOL.
MJ Says: The likes of Clurr never go beyond “Mahyoorka” or “Ibeefa”
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kaki says
Oh yeah…and Michael Jackson is GUILTY! 😉
MJ Says: I have just been to your place and seen your lengthy response. The defence team are preparing so get ready…I shall be back
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Wahu says
Hey Kaki Michael Jackson is guilty of what being black. Let the rule of law work before you condemn.
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Guess says
Wow. I remember once visiting a friend who was studying in Uni somewhere oop noof(up north)and the neighbours would come outside and stare like we were aliens or some. Scary. How do you ignore it/manage?
That was some funny ish right thurr.
MJ Says: The first you realise someone is staring at you because you are black you just freeze in shock. Eventually you learn to treat each starer on their own merits. There are those who are genuinely interested so you just let them off. Then are those who look at you like you were flushed up from a sewer – those are the ones that you eyeball with a look that says, ‘alafu…what fool?’ Then you laugh and not ati laugh in your head, point stare and laugh aloud. It is even better when you are alone because they get scared.
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Damon says
Hi I was interested by your experiences in this post! I’m currently still suffering in Lancaster (originally from Manchester) and accidentally found your blog via http://www.technorati.com/ and the tag Lancaster. Just thought I would say hello and apologise for all the stupid white people! I’ve been stuck here just over 10 years, I can’t say it gets any better!