Blog Wars Episode 1 (and a half)

Prior to the start of the Iraq war, the United States issued Saddam with a series of ultimatums. The US went so far as to state that should Saddam fail to act before a specific date and time war would be imminent.

At the time I remember thinking that if someone declared war on me and provided me with the same information that the US gave Saddam, I would use it to my advantage. If for instance my enemy gave me 24 hours to surrender I would wait patiently until the 23rd hour and launch a full attack on my unsuspecting enemy.

That was all just a passing thought; after all, I never imagined anyone would declare war on me, until now.

It has come to my attention that Nick, or according to his full rank and title, Private Fatty Fatty Boom Boom has declared war on two people, I, being one of them. He has already launched an attack on person number one and apparently I am next.

I shall not wait for him to launch his attack…I am going in first…

[Commence Land of Hope and Glory]

I shall go on to the end. I shall fight in our blogs, I shall fight in the main posts and in the comments, I shall fight with BLOCK CAPITALS and angry smilies everywhere 😡 👿 , I shall defend my blog, whatever the cost may be I shall never surrender.

[Instrumental – this would be a good time to read the original speech]

So there you have it Chubby,

[in Dubya accent]…

“Mama Jay’s go’n whoop yer bahin’…

… watch this drive�


  1. says

    No point in me asking for peace talks, then? :-)

    Mama JunkYard Says: You should be the last person caling for peace talks..all this stuff about adopting nephews…I can’t help but question your loyality. (Pledge your legions? :-) )

  2. Wambui says

    No “uji” comments here – let the games begin! ha ha ha! 😉

    Mama JunkYard Says: Yes Wambui…unless uji is to be used as weapon there shall be no mention of it here.

  3. says

    1. u will be served wit a lawsuit for quoting my phrase on thine bogsite(not a typo!!!)without copywritin it
    2. auntie knows best…we can obviously know who she is siding with…we know blood is thicker than blood but she knows a better blogger when she logs onto one!!!
    3. Private fatty fatty boom boom, is that all u can come up wit Major Jacinta Yatich(MJY)
    4. oh this is so on…u been served so bring it!!!!!

    Mama JunkYard Says:
    1. Mambo ya sheria…that really should be left to me.
    2. Ati blood is thicker that blood? Medicine/Biology is not your strong point sio?
    3. LMAO @ Yatich….but si a Major ranks higher than a Private? You have confirmed what we all know..MJY is your superior..shika adabu…ama nikufundishe.
    4. You keep saying bring it…fool..I done brought it.
    5. We need to establish rules of engagement before we carry on with this war.

  4. Nyakehu says

    You know that saying when two elephants fight the grass suffers. Nick our adopted(?) nephew and MJY what happened???? I wonder if that thing of people liking each other like remember when as kids the boys would hit the girls they liked. Anyway Nick, if you continue like this you are part of the family as you are so melodramatic. As for you MJY no need to be jealous you were the first grandchild, niece etc, No refferring needed just kiss and make up.

    Mama JunkYard Says: There is only one true elephant in this war…ana ji jua! As for the rest of your comments..No Comment.

  5. Mich says

    Go get ’em tiger! If you get in trouble give me a shout and I’ll send the boys ’round (cracks knuckles menacingly)

    Mama JunkYard Says Thank you but this is a walkover…you may however want to ‘deal’ with the rest of my so-called family…especially those of the Klingon speaking variety.

  6. says

    1. yes i did call u major since u way older than this private.
    2. LoL at Nyakehu i feel like part of the family already though ur support aint as reassuring as Mshairi’s
    -ati one nicholasgichu likes one MJY,pardon me while i insert fingers into the back of my throat….
    3. i guess mich is the only family u got…tsk tsk

    Mama JunkYard Says: Back for another beating? I know in your blog you mentioned you have thing for pain but please don’t use my blog for cheap thrills.
    1. I am older and wiser than you are.
    2. Mich is the only family I want/need. Those others are so fickle. You will soon be kicked to the curb. Mshairi has already mentioned that she is a fan of Daud. The minute he gets a blog he shall be nephew numero uno and you shall be all alone. I can’t wait!