Nearly everyone who knows me knows of Mich. Most people know we have been together for years and that we have been engaged since July 2002. Some may know that immediately after our engagement we set a wedding date and had it not been for the Busia Crash, Saturday 9th August 2003 would have been our wedding day.
Since the day we told friends and family that our wedding had been postponed indefinitely we find ourselves being faced with the same question:
So, when is the wedding?
We know that people asking this did so because they cared but after a while it got annoying. Apparently telling both friends and family that the wedding was on hold until mum woke up was not a sufficient response. So we came with an even better answer, a wedding date.
At the time of our agreement February 2006 seemed like a reasonable date. After all it was far enough in the future to sound convincing. So that became our response and as expected everyone w
ould reply with;
ooh thatâ€™s plenty of time to prepare
or words to that effect.
The fact that we are now less than a year away from our â€˜wedding dateâ€™ coupled with recent events/blog interactions has led me to realise that it is about time Mich and I came clean.
As you may have already worked out, there is no wedding planned for February 2006 but that is only half of the truth.
Mshairi, remember a few days ago we spoke about that trip Mich and I took to Haworth last year. You referred to it as a â€˜renewing vows tripâ€™ and I just said â€˜hmmmâ€™. You were so close to the truth.
Saturday 1st May 2004, Keighley (near Haworth), Mich and I got married.
Since mum’s accident various family members have said that they would not mind if Mich and I went off and got married on our own. So while they may be surprised, I really hope you guys wonâ€™t be mad at me. At least the adults. I am sure Mimu (my baby sister) shall be really upset but she doesn’t read my blog so I have time before I tell her.
I will not go in the reasons why we got married without telling the world. It really is no-one elseâ€™s business. I shall however explain why I have chosen to tell in my blog.
In short, my decision to go â€˜publicâ€™ is based on recent blog activities/interaction.
Recently in my 100 things about Me post I mentioned that I have a small crush on a fellow blogger. I didnâ€™t mention who the blogger was and at the time of writing the list Mich didnâ€™t seem to mind the whole crush thing.
Over the past few days there has been a friendly battle between Nicholas Gichu (NG) and Mama JunkYard (MJY) and while I thought I was engaging in harmless fun it appears that Mich has concluded that Nick is the â€˜crusheeâ€™ (?) and that our online behaviour is far from harmless. In his words it is
inappropriate and shamless flirting
I believe that a comment left behind by an aunt and fellow blogger, Nyaks is what led to Michâ€™s suspicions. Nyaks suggested that MJY and NG liked each other and she advised that we should kiss and make up.
While Mich had seen that comment and even left a comment in the ‘spirit’ of the post he was not too pleased to read that NG had returned and left the following remarks.
It seems that Mich is the only family you haveâ€¦tsk tsk
Mich told me that he felt:
- the rest of my family appeared to support/encourage MJY and NGâ€™s online shenanigans (perhaps because NG is black, Kenyan and Kikuyu?)
- NG used the term â€˜only familyâ€™ and â€˜tsk tskâ€™ in a dismissive way as if to suggest that having him as the only family was a bad thing.
There are obviously other factors that have led to Michâ€™s â€˜disapprovalâ€™ but since they have occurred offline I shall not mention them here.
I never wanted this to come out via my blog but after discussions with Mich I took into account his feelings. He said he felt that by not letting people know that we were married I was using my â€˜not-single-but-not-marriedâ€™ status to engage in behaviour that would not be considered appropriate if people knew we were married.
In essence I felt Mich (who has been keen to let our families know) wanted reassurance that I was not ashamed of the fact that I am married to him, nor am I ashamed of how we chose to get married and most importantly that when I made those vows I meant them and I would always be prepared to stand by them.
So here in my blog I am letting the world know that regardless of what others may think about the relationship between MJY and NG, I am 100% in love with Mich. I am 100% committed to Mich. I would risk the anger of my other family members for Mich. I would give all this blog stuff up for the sake of Mich.
This weekend I am off to visit the in-laws so we shall use our time there to let them know.