Yesterday Mental asked me a strange question. At that time I didnâ€™t think much of the question and just gave a simple answer.
Today I spoke with Mshairi and I asked her the same question. As a poet she â€˜gotta be so conscious and serious about everything…â€? (Bubudiu). By the time I had put the phone down I realised that she was right about the question, it is very very deep.
What did Mental ask?
If Mama JunkYard and Kui met would they like each other?
I am not sure if I have an answer, I am just going to think aloud.
The only way I can truly answer Mentalâ€™s question is to break it down in to two parts. First I have to be willing to accept that Kui and MJY are two separate identities.
Very rarely have I made a distinction between MJY and Kui, my blog identity is me and I am my blog identity.
In fact the only time that I consciously made that distinction was when Nick and I were joking that MJY and Nicholas Gichu are sworn enemies but Nick and Kui are friends.
Part of the reason why it is hard for me to see any difference is because when I began blogging, I blogged as Kui. It was only recently that I named my blog â€˜Mama JunkYardâ€™sâ€™. I had only intended to name the blog and not the blogger but somewhere along the way my blog family stopped referring to me as Kui. For a short time I was Mama JunkYard, then MJ and eventually MJY. (Mama Jacinta or any other variations do not count!)
I have always thought that anyone who knows me would read my blog and recognise a portion of my personality. To me my blog is simply segments of me (Kui/MJY) that I am happy to share with friends, families and anyone else who happens to visit.
Not too long ago someone told me that for a while they thought MJY (and in turn Kui) was a 40 year old woman. If I remember correctly I think their exact words were:
I thought you were an old mathe of 40 something
I am not sure if this was a joke. It did however force me to think about how I (my blog identity?) was perceived by those who do not know me. This was also part of the reason why I made up the JunkYardâ€™s Junk quiz.
What I discovered was that for some people what they read here is the only contact they will have with me. This portion of me becomes their whole idea of who I am. I, as Kui may amongst other things be part 40 year old woman but to a stranger MJY is a 40 year old woman.
Does this make them two different people? I think in some ways it does. I do not know. I am willing to accept that while in my eyes Kui=MJY in the eyes of others there is no Kui, there is only MJY. To them MJY isâ€¦probably a 40 year old woman, or…orâ€¦well I donâ€™t know. I am not sure who people think MJY is. Do I even want to find out? Maybe I am just a little bit curious…
As for whether MJY and Kui would like each other if they met? That is the second stage of the question and I am going to have to think about that some more. I think I will to read through my entire blog pretending that I am a strangerâ€¦.
Hmm talk of Mental Acrobatics! Thank you for the tough exerciseâ€¦dude.
While I try and answer the rest of the question I would like to pass on the question to the rest of my blog family and friends:
Would your blog identity like the real you?
Is there a difference?