I don’t give a damn about the Right or the Left arguments. Only one thought seems to occupy my mind each time I hear Terri Schiavo’s name;

This could be my mum!

I first heard of Terri way back in 2003, soon after the plane crash that took the lives of the 3 people and left my family in limbo.

I had been searching the internet for information on comas and I came across a website maintained (I think) by Terri’s parents. There were stories about and photographs of Terri. At the time we had a website too but it was a guestbook and there were no images of mum. I did not know much about comas but somehow I imagined them to be personal and private. Other than my mother, she was the first coma patient I had seen or heard of. Those images and Terri’s story have stuck in my mind ever since.

It really could be my mum!

Mum has been in a coma for 2 years and 2 months and like Terri is not on life support but is dependant on her feeding tube.

She is my mum!

I have never met Terri or any of her family. I can not even pronounce her surname but because hers was the first story I stumbled upon she became a part of my coma understanding/learning.

I saw similarities in their stories. I connected their comas, bound their lives and merged their conditions. Terry’s coma-life was mum’s coma-life.

Needless to say I was worried about the outcome of the case. Terri had been there since the beginning and she had come to symbolise a lot. Part of me believed that if they ruled in favour of discontinuing her feeding I would lose a part of mum and me.

Well, they did make the announcement to disconnect Terri’s feeding tube and I was saddened but I didn’t die. In fact as I listened to Terri’s mother and father speak against the decision and against Terri’s husband for backing it, I felt like I had been cut free.

Terri is not my mum!

Yes, for a fraction of their lives, they have shared a similar state of being however I realise now my mother remains connected to the land of the living by bonds stronger than that of a silicone gastronomy tube.

She, her life, our family’s lives are held together by the strength of our African culture.

Our culture that reminds us that family is a blessing not a burden.

Our culture that encourages us to look upon an ailing relative with love and compassion.

Our culture that nurtures our young ones and reveres our older ones.

Our culture that teaches us to respect both life and death.

I can honestly say in all the many conversations I have shared with my mother she has never mentioned what we she would like us to do if she ever became helpless. I am not sure if she ever had this conversation with my father or her father or her mother.

In the past two years not one member of our family has spoken of ‘letting her go’, or ‘relieving her of her pain and suffering’. In fact no one in our family has ever said out loud “what if…�

Even if deep down we may have our doubts, when we speak aloud we all speak of when mum will wake up. We hope she will wake up. We hope she will continue to live and we live in that hope.

Over the last few days as I have listened to the debates, I have cried. Yet unlike the time in 2003, when I stared at pictures of Terri and cried because I saw my mum in her, this time I cried for Terri. Her life, her family, her culture.

I thank God for His constant mercy and unchanging love and ask Him to look after each and every other, not just in 2005 but for the rest of your days.

While we enjoy the New Year cheer and fesitivities let us not forget the tragedy of recent events. More importantly let us not assume there is nothing we can do to help those affected. Iif you are not sure what to do or if you just want to find out the latest news may I suggest you visit this site. The Tsunami Help Blog has been set up has a wealth of information and links to other sites so check it out!!

Amani, upendo na baraka
(Peace, love and blessings)

Have a blessed day.

On Saturday I was taking a short cut and in the horizon I saw THREE BIG dogs just hanging about, so I retraced my steps all the way back to the main road.

I then decided to walk three paces behind this man. After about five minutes he stopped and turned round and I nearly walked right into him. I had to apologise and explained to him that I was not following him on purpose; he just happened to be walking in the same direction. Turns out that he is actually my neighbour.

I can’t keep stalking random people and hoping that they get bitten by dogs before I do…so please pray for me.

I used to feel uncomfortable when those praying women would visit mum at the hospital and pray to God to raise mum like He raised Lazarus. I could not understand how they could compare “fours days dead” Lazurus to my mum. While I am still not comfortable with the comparison, having re-read the story I feel as though God has cleared up a few issues and taught me a few things about the story that I had never fully understood.

Lesson 1
When Jesus is told of Lazarus’ illness he doesn’t rush back to see him; instead he waits a whole TWO days!! .

Here I am waiting on this stubborn coma that has taken hold of mum, at times I feel as if I am literally being held hostage by it, yet Jesus, who loved Lazarus more than I could ever love my mum, is not phased by the idea that his friend is ill. I read this and realised I need to stop waiting on the coma and start waiting for the Lord.

Lesson 2
Finally Jesus makes his way back telling his disciples that Lazarus is asleep. Apparently Jesus meant Lazarus was dead but the disciples just didn’t get it.

On the one hand it is reassuring to know that even those who spent time with Jesus while He was a man had problems understanding His message but it has also woken me up to the fact that I need to listen to Him a lot more and really pay attention to what He is saying. It is also yet another reminder that His understanding of a situation is much greater than ours.

Lesson 3
When Jesus arrives at Lazarus’ tomb He calls him by name and tells him to come out of the tomb.

That’s it. No mention of smoke, drum rolls, bright lights or wave of a wand, just a simple command and out comes Lazarus. Death is nothing to our God. He is the same God who hung the sun in the sky with just one command. If death is sleep to God then a coma is a siesta.

Lesson 4
In the story of Lazarus Jesus is called the resurrection, the life , the Teacher. He proves He is all these things, however the greatest lesson for me is to be found in the very first few verses of the chapter.

“This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” (John 11:4)

I may not know how mum’s situation may end but what this teaches me is that God knows. He told the disciples from the outset how Lazarus’ situation would end; that is why He didn’t head straight back to be with Lazarus. H Most importantly He told them the purpose of Lazarus’ story. It was for God’s glory and I know no matter what everything that happens in our lives can, and should be for God’s glory; even mum’s situation.

I shall now take verse 10 literally and head straight to bed.

She has told me that I shall receive no help from her in decoding her message.

I have posted it here in the hope that someone can translate this and maybe even help me respond.

Ni we Wangûi,

Rîûrî!

Kamwira ûthiete thavarî kûu ûrathie kûraihu, nûmûhaka ngûtaqre ûhoro mûritû.

1. Nûmûhoka wî menyerere mûno. Ûririkane atî wî kairîtu kanini, gathaka. To mûhaka warie na ando othe (ando othe ti ega – gwîhoka ûgwo ni ûîî). Ûmenyere mûno ando arîa mohanaga ta nyamû îrîa îtagûo ‘wolf’ mekîrîte ngûo cia mbûri. Gwîhoka nûûranyita ûrîa ndîrakwîra.
2. Ûcoke ûrikane atî wee ûreretwo wega. Tûtikwenda ûthie ûtû conore. Nûmûhaka ûkorowo na tabia njega thaa ciothe.
3. N îjûûe nîwendete kûnyûa gachohii rimwe na rimwe (na ndirauga gûcemania na arata rimwe na rimwe nî ûrû). No rîrî, ûhoro wa kûnywa njohii atî tûtûmagîrwo marûa nî andû acio mûraikara naao tûtikwenda. Ngwîhoka tûmûhaka njokere ûhoro ûcio.
4. Wagîthie nakuo ndûgakîriganwa gucoka. Waikara gûkîra thiku iria wagîrîire umenyerere mûno. Nîwatiga gathuri nyûmba – wahota gukora nikonire onge.

Ûngîhota kûnyitirera ûhoro ûyû ndakwîra maûndû maku nî magûthie wega mûno.

Ûkorowo na thavarî njega na mwathani akûrathime.

Nî niî tataguo,

Nyina wa junior

I am reminded of what Jesus said;

For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened – Mat 7:8 (NIV)

The very fact that I shall be getting on a plane next Wednesday, despite all the obstacles that have been in the way, is confirmation that He will always stand by His word.

I am grateful for all the prayers that have been said by family and friends and I am thankful for a God who listens and answers.

When we hear of inexplicable tragedies, let’s be content to leave the “why” question unanswered. Assured of God’s love (Romans 8:39), let’s look at these events as a time for self-examination and repentance. —Herb Vander Lugt

Tomorrow is my mum’s 51st birthday. Since January 2004, mum has been in coma as a result of injuries sustained in a plane crash.

Inspite of my faith I do sometimes find myslef asking “why?” and last night I had one of those “why?” moments.

I put off reading my devotional until later because I had ‘better’ things to do.

Yet reading it now I realise how much grief I would have saved myself if I had simply thanked God for all His blessings and said sorry for all my errors.

Thankfully it is never too late.