Comments on: Sleeping With The Enemy…

By: delica

delica — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 14:39:14 +0000

this is utterly true in every shape and form. I am a jamacain lady who is married to a white english man and the negative looks and percption is always unfortunatley,from my own people,especially the younger generation of black men.it would seem highly hypocritical,that black men think nothing to date a white woman however when it is the opposite way around,they act like you have committed the ultimate crime! it really saddens me,as we love each other deeply,and i agree on the point you made about fitting into a box.people always have this strange perception that you must act urban,and if you dare to speak normally,then you are trying to deny your race and culture,what rubbish.i was born from jamacian parents,i myself born in england and i don’t think i have ever fitted into any catergory except being myself.i choose to speak clearly,even before i met my husband.i dress as myself,not a colour.

By: I am… at Mama JunkYard’s

I am… at Mama JunkYard’s — Sun, 08 Oct 2006 15:37:37 +0000

[…] The other thing that appears to give people the courage to challenge my Kenyan identity is the fact that I am officially sleeping with the enemy but I have already blogged about that. […]

By: Black Ambition

Black Ambition — Wed, 18 May 2005 18:09:01 +0000

I liked hearing your perspective on this.

I am one of those blacks who sometimes questions relationships between blacks and whites. I have never given anyone grief over it or said anything rude, but I think in America atleast, and probably in most countries, it is hard to ignore the fact that whites have been favored. At one point I believe that many blacks came to adopt white people’s view that white people are better than us and sought to marry white people, have lighter children, etc. It is a painful history and reality among blacks which leads to animosity at times. I am not sure to what extent this history still affects us today, but it was a reality for so long that it becomes hard for some to ignore.

With that said, it isn’t fair for you and your husband to have to carry the weight of history on your shoulders. I think your perspective and experiences demonstrates this point. Old wounds have yet to be healed between blacks and whites and this is the reason some blacks look upon black-white relationships with contempt. Again, not fair to you or your partner in life.

By: Mama JunkYard’s » Blog Archive » I am…

Mama JunkYard’s » Blog Archive » I am… — Tue, 10 May 2005 08:34:13 +0000

[…] o give people the courage to challenge my Kenyan identity is the fact that I am officially sleeping with the enemy but I have already blogged about that. For a long time I sought to defend/justify […]

By: Wahu

Wahu — Fri, 07 Jan 2005 12:10:06 +0000

Mpenzi Thank you for this enlightening piece the other issue people tend to focus on is cultural differences, one’s happiness is never limited to just sharing your love with the one person of your culture, if God did not create all of us with our own differences can you imagine what a bland world this would be.
Love

By: Kaki

Kaki — Wed, 05 Jan 2005 20:12:01 +0000

You know kui…there days I am just so through with ignorance. Yaani you know how you have debated, explained, reasoned, sayed a million times, denied, agreed mpaka you dont bother anymore. I think I am there now with people who make assumptions and guesstimates about people they do not know. So dating and marrying a white person takes away from your blackness how? Why does it take away from his whiteness?!
And I am sure you get the sister girls who high five you ati “girl it is good you moved on to bigger and better things cauz kenyan-black-African men are trifling” I continue to be amazed at how some people process their ignorance and spew it out or project it to others.
I swear miseducation runs deep.

Kui Says: Well said. The issue of taking away from his whiteness is one that people never think about. Though I think that has to do with the fact that whitness is perceived as the absence of colour, white is colourless/raceless hence white people fall outside of the race debate and are only ever included in relation to a non-white person. As for those ‘sister girls’ you call them; it saddening but true. There are those who really do think that white is better but we know that there are many fine and decent black men in the world.

By: Mshairi

Mshairi — Tue, 28 Dec 2004 13:19:59 +0000

Hey the blog is back! Well said!

Kui Says Thank you Mshairi

By: bankelele

bankelele — Tue, 28 Dec 2004 11:55:05 +0000

You have my sympathy. I have friends who have been in lon-term inter-racial relationships and they go though hassles every day thanks to our Ignorance. They get especialy harassed in Nairobi, especialy where the woman is black - you'll find hotel and restaurant staff and many others immediately assume that she's at working him, and that he's a client. Kui Says I have experienced the whole 'working girl' attitude in Kenya especially in Mombasa. It is so infuriating. I remember once we went for a meal in Old Town, Msa and at the end of the meal I went to pay. The waiter had to call his dad because he could not understand how I could pay when I was in the company of a Mzungu. By the time we left I had posed for 100 pictures with various members of his family and he even asked if I had a sister who would marry his sons!