Comments on: Dirty Linen…

By: Ciru Gachengo

Ciru Gachengo — Tue, 15 Feb 2005 00:13:01 +0000

The race issue is sensative enough, without trying to play it down or up

By: Margaret from Germany

Margaret from Germany — Mon, 14 Feb 2005 10:17:57 +0000

Why did I not correct her...I guess I because we were just laughing and having a good time. I really think she knew it was offensive, but chose to continue to 'push the envelope'. Kui Says: Such situations make me even more confused. If something is known to be offensive why would someone choose to say it? Furthermore, even if they get away with it first time why on earth do they keep pushing? Why should the onus be on me to point out something that they already know or ought to know?

By: mentalacrobatics

mentalacrobatics — Mon, 14 Feb 2005 02:11:44 +0000

It all depends. I was told a joke about a year ago and i still can not figure out whether it is rascist or not so i feel your pain! I'm with Cosby though, sometimes you just got to say it. Kui Says: What was the 'joke'? I hate those ones that leave me going 'hmm'. As for Cosby, yes sometimes we do have to say it but in the process we seem to piss off our people...what to do?

By: Ciru Gachengo

Ciru Gachengo — Mon, 14 Feb 2005 00:16:43 +0000

You decided where you stand, and then stick to it regardless of race. I personally do not belive in 'customaization' of opinions Kui Says: I agree with you in so far as sticking to your point of view but don't you think the method used to point a point across should be tailored to suit your audience?

By: mshairi

mshairi — Sun, 13 Feb 2005 21:46:34 +0000

I think you should go with your gut feeling for the scenarios you have mentioned. I agree with Margaret. As black people and indeed, as human beings, we have different relationships with different people. Some people we feel comfortable enough to talk about the issues you raise, whether black or white, others you don't or can't. Kui Says: It is usually when I am with people I don't know too well that I get those mixed feelings and end up with no gut feeling.

By: Margaret in Germany

Margaret in Germany — Sun, 13 Feb 2005 20:18:48 +0000

How you deal with this situation when it arises depends on the type of relationship you have with those in question.

Case in point…I am Puerto Rican/Black. One of my VERY best friends in the world is White. When we were in the Army, one of the other white girls saw me one day and my hair was wet, hanging down my back. She made a joke and called me a Wet Back (equivalent to calling a Black person the N-word). I didn’t check her on it…but because I didn’t, she felt it was ok to call me a Web Back everytime she saw me.

After calling me that for about 2 weeks, I got mad enough to tell her to not call me that EVER again.

I blame myself, for not handling the situation when it first arose, and because I didn’t she did just as I allowed her…to disrespect on a regular basis.

I learned my lesson…the hard way.

Kui Says: Until your comment I had never heard of the phrase ‘Wet Back’ – thanks for bring it to my attention and thanks too for your comment. When the lady you mention first used the phrase is there any particular reason why you didn’t correct her? Do you think she knew it was an offensive term?