I do try and be critical when I read yet another story by Western media that attempts to barbarise African behaviour but upon reading about South African thieves forcefully cutting off people’s dreadlocks I must confess that my critical analysis took a back seat to my more basic instinct of mild outrage.

As someone who has been locked since 2000, this violent violation struck me on a personal level.  Lest, this mild outrage be misconstrued as vanity (“It is only hair”; “It will grow back” etc) I feel the need to point out why cutting of someone’s locks constitutes such a personal violation.  Of course there is the most obvious reason – an individual (or individuals) performing an action on your person without your consent; but there are other reasons and these may apply to theft of hair in general but at this point in time I speak specifically from a black female locked person perspective.

Anyone with locks will understand, if only at the subconscious level, how much of a commitment it is.  Locks on one level may just be a hairstyle but on another they are constructed as a political statement. Lock nomenclature is problematic; with some preferring to refer to them as locks over what they perceive as the negative term “dreadlocks”. I interchangeably refer to my hair as locks, dreads, dreadlocks with no particular preference for any and for this post I’m using locks out of convenience – I am not taking stand either way in relation to labelling my (or anyone else’s) hair.

The process of locking hair is equally divisive. Differing views on  how one starts their locks; the method of maintaining locks or non maintenance; who can lock their hair  creates all manner of tensions.  There is of course the wider politics of “black hair”.  When we commit to locking our hair we acknowledge we are (often unwillingly) being thrown into and judged by the standards of a highly politicised, gendered and racialised space.

In some spheres, so great is the misunderstanding of locks that a number of stereotypes and misconceptions have emerged; resulting in people with locks facing some odd questions and statements.  Linked to this is the fetishisation of locks which can lead to some very uncomfortable situations for those with locks.  Perhaps the biggest commitment is giving in to the unknown.  Beyond the general styling and maintenance you commit to just letting your hair grow; however it chooses to.  It is a gamble and for some people it pays off and their locks grow without problems; for others it may take years of trial and error (including starting over a few times) before they get the locks they want.  What makes this even more of a risk is that there is no end point.  Of course there are stages to the lock growth process; but your locks keep growing and changing and the problem locks can start at any time in process – you just never know.

This is what we commit to.  So to have that ripped off you in what is being termed as a ‘cut and run’ can cause distress on so many levels.

I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about the issues I have just mentioned.  In fact my day-to-day lock concerns sit in the first world problems domain (“will the hot water run out mid shampoo?” do I have to sit through hours of Top Gun as my husband retwists my hair?”).   That is of course until I’m confronted with these issues that I just mentioned; which is exactly what these crimes and more specifically the recent reporting does.

Apparently, “Johannesberg police said they had only one case of dreadlock theft officially reported last year, but anecdotal evidence indicates the crime is on the rise. Women are said to be the most vulnerable“.  That not withstanding the news has been reported by quite a few outlets of varying size, reach and credibility and nearly all give the impression that this some sort epidemic. So now not only do people with locks have to deal with the tension, politics, stereotypes and just general drama; they have to contend with feelings of fear and panic possibly brought on by sensationalised reporting of an already misunderstood hairstyle.

The hair thieves are supposedly responding to more people wanting dreadlocks and wanting them now; and salons are being said to pay a lot for locks that they can then weave into their clients’ hair.  The images of, dodgy salons and their supposedly desperate clientele  add to existing stereotypes of deviant black behaviour and all of it is enough to leave a locked sister mildly outraged.

While reading a blog by a fellow KBW member I saw a comment left by my sworn enemy. It was mainly gibberish (as usual) but contained in all that nonsense was the unthinkable, the unmentionable. I won’t even link to it but I shall say this: it is a dumb person who dares refer to my dreadlocks as braids and it is a dead person who dares to suggest that my hair is FAKE!!!

Those comments by the fake-cousin-I- wish-I- never-had have led me to think about some daft and at times offensive things that non-locked people say when in the company of we dread folk.

For those without locks please consider the list below as a guide of things NEVER to say when you meet a person with locks.

Things NOT to say

1. Is this your real hair?
2. I didn’t think black hair grew this long

   Number 1 and 2 are related in that they rely on the assumption that long hair is good hair and that black hair in it’s natural state can not grow long/look good.

   I have often found that this is questions asked more by black people than white people.

3. Do you wash your hair?

   I often do not explain why I take offence to this question. It really should be obvious. What reason would I have not to wash my hair? Unless I was a dirty slob – and when asked this question I shall automatically conclude that the asker has assumed I am a dirty slob.

   From my experience I have found this question is asked more by white people. I can’t even think of a black person who has asked me this.

4. How often do you wash your hair?
5. How do you wash your hair?

   I debated about putting these on the list because there are times when it is not offensive or rude to ask about lock maintenance. If for instance someone wants to start locking their hair and wants to find out more, I would be more than willing to answer 3 and 4.

   On the other hand there are times when I have been asked this question by people I consider total strangers and who are not interested in locking hair.

   Washing my hair is a personal matter and I think it is a sign of ill breeding to walk up to someone and ask such a stupid question. As for ‘how to wash’…from what I know; the ways to wash hair are fairly straightforward. Water, shampoo, scrub, rinse.

   Most people regardless of race ask this question, though I have found that it is mainly white people who are shocked to hear that I do not wash my hair everyday.

6. Weed, sister?
7. Do you smoke pot?

   Prior to locking my hair I could breeze through customs without anyone stopping me; recently though it seems that every custom official I meet takes one looks at me and my hair and immediately asks if I am carrying drugs.

   I am also asked this at parties, in bars and usually by total strangers.

   It appears that both white and black people ask the same question but in different ways.

8. Are you Jamaican?
9. Have you been to Jamaica?

   I arrived in Turkey and handed my passport to the immigration man and he looked at me and said “Jamaican huh?� Just for the record my passport is not Jamaican and I still can’t understand how that man got a job as an immigration officer.

   Do people have to be told that not all locked people are from Jamaica? I wonder if white locked people get asked the same thing.

   As for being asked if I have been to Jamaica…this is another of those ‘in context’ questions.

10. Your hair is so crazy

    Someone I work with once said this to me. Crazy as used by a stranger is not a term of endearment.

These are just a few things that people have said to me. I am sure there are many more and I would love to hear about them.

———-
Oh…I nearly forgot to strike back at he-who-shall-not-be-linked…..

Those fake hair comments have taken this war to a whole new level and I have been left with no choice but to rely on weapon only reserved for the ugliest of wars.

Ngamia bila magongo this is for you:

I’m rubber you’re glue
Everything you say
Bounces off me
And sticks on you.

A. Wahu asked:

What has been the most exciting and enjoyable time spent in Belize. Not the work which l have read that you have enjoyed if it is x-rated then we can go the funkytown.

Attending both the Dangriga and Hopkins Punta Fest was the most exciting and enjoyable experience. The Dangriga Punta Fest qualifies as enjoyable because it lasted all night. I don’t think I have ever danced while watching the sunrise. Two words made the Hopkins Punta Fest exciting – Aurelio Martinez. What’s so exciting about Aurelio? That definitely counts as X-rated.

Kaki asked

Have your locs grown faster ama slower?

It is hard to tell for two reasons. When I first started locking my hair, I bleached and dyed it. Over the years the dyed section of my locks began to weaken and the ends started to break and unlock. I have been scared of putting a pair of scissors to my locks but I realised I had no choice. I think it was about October time when I got the courage to cut about an inch and a half off the ends. This has made it difficult to assess rate of growth. Secondly, one of the main ways I can tell how quickly my hair grows is by measuring the length of time between each re-twist; that is when the new unlocked growth gets messy. In England I would re-twist every 3-4 weeks. While in Belize the humidty meant that my hair needed re-twisting every week!

Kaki asked:

Any new or different fragrances there?

I am not sure if you meant new fragrances in Belize or in general. Either way…I have no idea. All I know is that I had planned to buy D&G’s Light Blue (my new favourite) on the way to Belize but managed to convince myself that the full bottle of CK Contradiction, the half bottle of Cabotine (Kaki – I took that picture just for you ) and the near empty Kenzo Flowers would be enough!!

Big mistake.

Cabotine is a perfume I have used since I was 13. It was my first ever perfume and I don’t use it anymore – I just carry it around for sentimental reasons. Contradiction is a perfume that I used to like but still receive as birthday and christmas present from a few people. I only packed it out of guilt; and it came back just as full and has now joined the other 3 full bottles!. Kenzo was the only perfume I like and use on a regular basis – it didn’t last a month! So for the first time in my life I was stuck without perfume. Thankfully the need to wear repellent meant that I could get by without perfume.

That’s it for now. I shall answer the other questions soon. If anyone else has any other questions…now is the time to ask. I will answer anything and everything.

Now I have space to blog on locks and nothing but locks!

I usually wake up in a mad panic.

Do other ‘locked’ peeps dream about this or am I losing it?