1. Favourite Kenyan food:
Mum’s mahamris! They are the best in the world and no one in our family can perfect the recipe the way she does! She usually made them after midnight when everyone had gone to bed because when she used to make them during the day we would eat them as soon as they leave the sufuria.

2. Favourite Kenyan drink:
Too easy…Tusker moto

3. Favourite Kenyan TV programme:
This is an oldie – Tushaurine. I never got to find out if Esther married Joe or the other one (what was his name?)

4. Top 3 Kenyan hang outs:
(a) My parents’ home…nothing beats being at home. No cooking or cleaning just 100% lounging.
(b) Cucu’s place…..Where else can I get to watch 5 Bollywood movies in a row.
(c ) I can’t decide between these two -The Hood….I love their nyam chom and it is also my local AND Kengeles Yaya….I am still not comfortable with the idea of a pub above a petrol station…all it takes is one drunk to drop a lit ciggie and boom but during the day it is a lovely place to hang out.

5. Top Kenyan holiday destination
I have to promote Central Province…Treetops Hotel.

6. 3 Kenyan phrases you use a lot (ati, nini, nani DO NOT count and neither does bilaz!)
(a) Nitakulima kama shamba
(b) Na hiyo ni maendelo
(c ) Ashindwe!!!

7. Three things about Kenya/Kenyans that make you go ‘hmmm’
(a) Kenyans using the N word….Why?
(b) Gatecrashing…again why?!!!
(c ) Whenever I tell a Kenyan my name they always insist I have an English name. I don’t have one and have never had one so please stop asking me…”no..what is your other name? your baptism name.”

8. Three things non-Kenyans say about Kenya/Kenyans that make you go ‘hmmm’
(a) Oh I have a friend in Kenya…his name is John…do you know him?
(b) I would love to learn Kenyan.
(c ) Hakyuna Marrarra – Please get over that whole Disney thing!

9. Three things about Kenya/Kenyans which non-Kenyans ought to know.
(a) There is more to Kenya than the wildlife.
(b) Not all Kenyans are Maasai and not all Maasai are Kenyan.
(c )Kenyans are capable of speaking good English. It is nothing to be shocked about and it I do not feel complimented when you point it out.

10. Complete this sentence: I am Kenyan because…..
if I said I was anything else my parents would beat me…with a mwiko!.

And finally – list 3 members of the Kenyan Blog Ring you would like to see complete this quiz.

Nick, Kenyan Pundit and Thinker.

One word that stands out is ‘sorry’ and a while back Kaki touched on this in a comment she posted. I have been told by many of my non-Kenyan friends that I apologise too much and I am sure a Western psychologist could analyse me and find some underlying self esteem issues that have led to my ‘over apologetic’ nature but I think the real reason has to do with my heritage. I overuse the word ‘sorry’ because I am Kenyan and before any Western psychologist rushes to classify all Kenyans as lacking self esteem etc, here is my explanation.

The Kiswahili word for ‘sorry’ is ‘pole’ (pron. po-lay) and this tiny four letter word means a lot more than the English fault based apology. Depending on the context ‘pole’ can mean, among other things, ‘I emphathise’, ‘I understand’ or ‘ooops…my bad’.

The best way to illustrate the versatile nature of the word ‘pole’ is by way of example based on fictitious but highly likely conversations between two Kenyans.

Example 1

P1: “uuuuwwiiiii…I’ve ngogad (stubbed) my toe on the door”

P2: ” Woi! Pole”

Meaning: Haki (I swear) I jua (know) your pain! I have ngogad my toe before and it hurts. I feel your pain.

Example 2

P1: “You guy! Did you hear, someone thugged (stole) my wheels?!”

P2: “No way! Pole.”

Meaning: I have never owned a car, dude, you know I can’t even drive but I know how you and your car were tight…like husband and wife…I hope they shika (catch) the theiving bastard.

Example 3

P1: ” Did you watch the game last night? My team lost 10-0!”

P2: “Heh heh Pole”

Meaning: Ha! I did watch the game. Why lie, we thrashed you guys vizuri sana (good and proper) and nita ku enjoy mpaka (I will ridicule you until) next season. But jokes aside, if that were my team I would feel bad too.

Now take any of the above examples; in this case Example 2 and this time imagine that P1 is non-Kenyan. The conversation would probably go a bit like this.

P1: “My good man, I would like to bring to your attention that on or about the 31st of December my sole mode of transportation, namely my car, was dishonestly appropriated.”

P2: “Eh…sorry.”

P1: “Why are you saying sorry? It’s not your fault.”

So there you have it.

I just noticed that I used the word ‘bastard’ so pole if I have offended anyone.

Meaning: This is my blog, I can say whatever I want to say..but I know my aunties read this so I better act like I was raised properly.