With all the recent coverage re the late Terri Schiavo it is no surprise that those who know of my mum would make comparisons between the two.
Even I was forced to re examine mumâ€™s situation.
The Busia Crash received a lot of publicity in Kenya and what should, under normal circumstances, have been a private affair, became a public matter.
I am incredibly protective of my family and while I was a little uncomfortable with the publicity mum was receiving, I soon realised that most of it was actually done with a lot of sensitivity.
There were and still are strangers praying for my mum. We received emails from people we did not know and to this day I know for sure it was this support and prayer that has helped our family get through what has been and still is a painful and traumatic experience.
Recently however it appears that there are some who are happy to just speak and type without any regard for who may be reading.
Last week a fellow Kenyan blogger, Kibet, who writes as part of the group blog Virtual Insanity wrote a piece about Terri and mentioned my mum as part of his analysis. Nothing bad was said; in fact the writer said that he was still praying for mum. I was slightly taken a back by the reference but realised it was done in good faith. I posted a comment to let them know that as Dr Kihoroâ€™s daughter I had shared my views on the differences between mum and Terri.
I thought this was to be the last I would hear.
I can not even put into words the anger, shock, disgust and hurt that I felt when Mshairi emailed me and told me that another Virtual Insanity blogger, Natizzo, had written about mum. It was written in relation to Terri and the author starts off by saying that they are happy Terri is dead because â€œit was long overdueâ€?. Then they go on to mention mum and this is what they wrote:
It’s got me thinkin about Mrs. Kihoro. If one goes for so long without significant brain activity, your brain is jus operating on the equivalent of reserve. Minimalist synaptic responses and voltage, which are far below what is need for comprehension, understanding, and thought processes.
How on earth can this writer comment on mumâ€™s brain activity? Or any aspect of her medical condition, in such a careless way?
If the writer is mumâ€™s doctor then I excuse me while I file a suit for breach of confidentiality.
If on the other hand this person is not mumâ€™s doctor then excuse while I berate them for their insensitivity and callousness.
I am not saying that no-one is allowed to talk about mum. I have no control over this. What gets me mad is when someone does so without any regard for the feelings of those who are directly involved.
What has pissed me off even more is this last sentence:
Don’t hate me for this. My brain thought it, and my fingers typed it.
I get the impression that the author knew full well that members of Dr Kihoroâ€™s family were reading their blog. The author also knew that their words were offensive yet still carried on to write them.
It appears like a cheap hit and controversy generating stunt at the expense of the feelings of others. This is my response:
Damn you Natizzo if you thought you could use our situation for your sorry attempt at controversial writing.
Believe me when I say that I and the rest of my family are sickened by your words.
Believe me too when I say I am taking what you wrote personally.
In case you missed it…
Do you have any clue what we as a family have gone through?
Do you appreciate the pain involved?
Do you even care about the daily hospital trips that my family has made for the last TWO years?
Did you spend one moment thinking about how much it hurts us to know that mum is not the same lively person she used to be?
Did you pause to consider what effect your words may have on those who love and care for Dr Kihoro?
I doubt any of these thoughts passed your mind and if they did I get the impression you just brushed them aside, all for the sake of a controversial piece of writing.
I would never wish what we are going through on anyone but I ask you Natizzo to put yourselves in our shoes for a minute.
Read what you have written from our perspective and realise that those careless, thoughtless remarks have caused me and the rest of my family a lot of pain and distress.