Background
While reading a blog by a fellow KBW member I saw a comment left by my sworn enemy. It was mainly gibberish (as usual) but contained in all that nonsense was the unthinkable, the unmentionable. I won’t even link to it but I shall say this: it is a dumb person who dares refer to my dreadlocks as braids and it is a dead person who dares to suggest that my hair is FAKE!!!
Those comments by the fake-cousin-I- wish-I- never-had have led me to think about some daft and at times offensive things that non-locked people say when in the company of we dread folk.
For those without locks please consider the list below as a guide of things NEVER to say when you meet a person with locks.
Things NOT to say
- Is this your real hair?
- I didn’t think black hair grew this long
Number 1 and 2 are related in that they rely on the assumption that long hair is good hair and that black hair in it’s natural state can not grow long/look good.
I have often found that this is questions asked more by black people than white people.
- Do you wash your hair?
I often do not explain why I take offence to this question. It really should be obvious. What reason would I have not to wash my hair? Unless I was a dirty slob – and when asked this question I shall automatically conclude that the asker has assumed I am a dirty slob.
From my experience I have found this question is asked more by white people. I can’t even think of a black person who has asked me this.
- How often do you wash your hair?
- How do you wash your hair?
I debated about putting these on the list because there are times when it is not offensive or rude to ask about lock maintenance. If for instance someone wants to start locking their hair and wants to find out more, I would be more than willing to answer 3 and 4.
On the other hand there are times when I have been asked this question by people I consider total strangers and who are not interested in locking hair.
Washing my hair is a personal matter and I think it is a sign of ill breeding to walk up to someone and ask such a stupid question. As for ‘how to wash’…from what I know; the ways to wash hair are fairly straightforward. Water, shampoo, scrub, rinse.
Most people regardless of race ask this question, though I have found that it is mainly white people who are shocked to hear that I do not wash my hair everyday.
- Weed, sister?
- Do you smoke pot?
Prior to locking my hair I could breeze through customs without anyone stopping me; recently though it seems that every custom official I meet takes one looks at me and my hair and immediately asks if I am carrying drugs.
I am also asked this at parties, in bars and usually by total strangers.
It appears that both white and black people ask the same question but in different ways.
- Are you Jamaican?
- Have you been to Jamaica?
I arrived in Turkey and handed my passport to the immigration man and he looked at me and said “Jamaican huh?� Just for the record my passport is not Jamaican and I still can’t understand how that man got a job as an immigration officer.
Do people have to be told that not all locked people are from Jamaica? I wonder if white locked people get asked the same thing.
As for being asked if I have been to Jamaica…this is another of those ‘in context’ questions.
- Your hair is so crazy
Someone I work with once said this to me. Crazy as used by a stranger is not a term of endearment.
These are just a few things that people have said to me. I am sure there are many more and I would love to hear about them.
———-
Oh…I nearly forgot to strike back at he-who-shall-not-be-linked…..
Those fake hair comments have taken this war to a whole new level and I have been left with no choice but to rely on weapon only reserved for the ugliest of wars.
Ngamia bila magongo this is for you:
I’m rubber you’re glue
Everything you say
Bounces off me
And sticks on you.
Loving the ‘M’ post:-) And when you are in Kenya, some people think you belong to that appalling Gikuyu cult. What is it about locks that make people make such crazy assumptions?
Ati you are trying to validate;
1. that your hair is really YOURS – not something you have the receipt for or something off a horse’s tail
2. that you really wash your hair hence the odiferous pungent airs emanating from the thoroughly dandruffed scalp are a figment of our imagination.
3. that you do not smoke pot or do weed hence your ghetto like, hood-rat qualities….are a figment of our imagination.
Mama JunkYard Says: What is this obsession with numbering stuff? Have you just learnt how to count from 1 to 3?
I am not sure whose side to take here 🙂 Yeah, MJY – he is my nephew, adopted or not 🙂 KymmBr is needed here to make judgement on this one 🙂
have you ever been mistaken for a waria?
just askin…
I guess you can say that I get just the opposite questions…like ‘If you are REALLY black, why do you wash your hair everyday?’
I usually come back with something like…’I do what I can to keep the lice population within range’.
LOL!
:))
Too funny and so so true
kinda late on this thread, lakini i feel you on this post MJY, i was thinking of making flash cards for each of the questions, so i can save my breath. sigh.
After reading this, I have become very self conscious. I hope I didnt trigger your writing this…lol. I think its good information to know. Dios te Bendiga!
I have not had a job in a year. Which is when i started my locks. Aint that some shyt? Please give some words of encouragement. But i guess i’ll be broke 4ever because i refuse to cut my locks.
you should add how do you take them out and can I touch them… I got that all the time when I was loced
I have natural hair that I mainly keep in a fro. Sometimes I’ll braid it, or twist it. I use to feel bad when people would compliment me on the braids and twists. My fro however was and still is looked at like something odd. White people, yeah you would kinda expect a certain reaction cause most of them don’t know about natural black hair, but not black folks! I’m living in Germany and it is a learning experice for those I encounter. Maybe it will be different when I go back to the states. Why can’t the natural folks just live without all of the nonsense?
PEACE 🙂
how do white people get dreads i have real fine hair
I have been into reggae for a long time, every thing about it attracts me and i love everything it stands for. I would love to have dreads as part of the religion…but im a white gurl with thick hair that hangs past my ass, how can i get my hair to dread up. ive seen afew white boys with dreads.. but it looks like peices of shit on there head… they said they did it with wax, but i wont mine to look nice and be done naturally. Ive asked around, but this site came to me and i would like to know if you have the answer to my question. Let the good times roll, and please get back to me.
whites wit blak hair shuld lik totaly get dread!!
dreads are very cool if you use 100% Australlian Beeswax
i have been thinking about my locs alot lately, which is what brought me here.
i get all sorts of questions, here are a few to add to the list:
how do you comb your hair?
do they wash out?
are they heavy?
do you ever wish you could take them out?
will you have to shave your head when you don’t want them anymore?
do they hurt?
how do you do your hair?
i am a human, a woman, just here, i have hair, my hair is with me, its a part of me, and like all things it will one day fall into the ground
peace in the middle east
interesting post…
more so interesting coz i myself have dreads ( 9months old) and have seen alot of changes in how people view me..but nonetheless..i really dont care..when asked silly questions about whether i smoke weed i reply them with silly answers like they deserve..freakin morons!
‘live life to the fullest..or you will end up with 65 cats and many regrets’
ma .2 cents
Dreads started before rastafari in the 30s. The scottish had dreads before many modern cultures. but dreads go way back before that. Adam and Chava (eve) probably had dreads since it is the natural way a man of colors hair goes. and yes we do know that civilization started in africa somewhere. all came from the same black ancestor.
If I want to go back to nature and live as God intended me to, Dreads,natural foods, and clothing along with a belief that ALL MAN ARE FAMILY will be ok with me. WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME WHAT CLOTHES, FOOD, BELIEF, AND HAIR I SHOULD HAVE?
I guess some of my big brothers and sisters still want to control my movements even if I am willing and able to do it myself. I AND I live as one!
JUST A JEW IN CYberSPACE.
Dreads started before rastafari in the 30s. The scottish had dreads before many modern cultures. but dreads go way back before that. Adam and Chava (eve) probably had dreads since it is the natural way a man of colors hair goes. and yes we do know that civilization started in africa somewhere. all came from the same black ancestor.
If I want to go back to nature and live as God intended me to, Dreads,natural foods, and clothing along with a belief that ALL MAN ARE FAMILY will be ok with me. WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME WHAT CLOTHES, FOOD, BELIEF, AND HAIR I SHOULD HAVE?
I guess some of my big brothers and sisters still want to control my movements even if I am willing and able to do it myself. I AND I live as one!
JUST A JEW IN CYberSPACE.